Earlier this week, a newcomer to the city reached out to me for advice. He asked, “How do I go about making friends in Worcester?”
I could sympathize. Meeting people is a challenge that everyone encounters when a job or relationship whisks us off to unfamiliar territory. As kids, we submit to neighborhood kickball. As teens, we rely on the fellowship of extracurriculars. In college, we are thrust into 100-square-foot dorm rooms with perfect strangers. But, as grownups? We’re typically left to our own devices.
Making adult friends is not a passive activity and it rarely happens by accident. In many cases, we are naturally drawn to our colleagues out of sheer convenience. Even a two-year age gap seemed insurmountable in high school — but, lo and behold, the coworker with whom I grew closest at my very first job was more than 20 years my senior. We had a great deal in common. This has become admittedly less likely in a gig economy where self-employment limits the number of opportunities to form workplace unions.
The first place I made adult friends “from scratch” in Worcester was at November Project, an all-levels free fitness group that meets on Wednesday mornings. In the warm weather, participants run the Holy Cross stadium. In the colder months, they meet for circuit training on the Worcester Common. Workouts kick off at both 5:30 a.m. and 6:20 a.m. and everyone is made to feel welcome. You always get back what you put in.
In some ways, I even credit my marriage to November Project. When my husband asked me out on our first official date, I told him where he could find me on Wednesday mornings. Sure enough, he showed up in his Hakeem Olajuwon jersey, ready to run. No one else stood a chance.
There’s a picture of the two of us from that first morning. We’re sitting at deadhorse hill, which had opened early for November Project’s post-workout breakfast club. I’m smiling over at him while he tells a story and I haven’t a clue what the future holds. It’s a special moment and I’m glad we have it frozen in time.
This shot represents one of the thousands of photos captured by November Project’s dedicated leaders. Every workout is well documented. Don’t worry — they only publish the flattering pictures.
The photographs are about more than accountability and bragging rights. I speak from experience when I say, it feels exceptionally lonely to move somewhere new and scroll through social media with no output of your own in sight. November Project rewards your willingness to wake up at the crack of dawn with prime content to remind you and your followers that this new life in Worcester is shaping up to be pretty grand.
It’s not just fitness. November Project also maintains a social committee. You don't even have to go to the workouts to feel welcome at their events. In fact, my new job schedule has sidelined me from participating in a lot of the weekly workouts, but that didn’t stop me from breaking it down on the dance floor last weekend at the November Project Thrift Shop Prom.
I wore an LBD with shoulder pads. My husband wore a Toni Kucok jersey with a tie. At one point, he turned to me and yelled over the music, “These people are so happy; I swear there’s not a single cynic in the room!”
He lifted me up and spun me around and people clapped and it was sublime. Everyone there felt like “friend material.”
Meeting new people as an adult can feel impossible, but I promise there are supports in place. Don’t go it alone. Become a regular somewhere. If it’s not November Project, then start showing up to Comedy in the Cabaret at Nick’s on Monday nights. Or, sign up for Sofar Sounds, Worcester’s monthly pop up concert series. Volunteer with Working for Worcester. Attend cinema-worcester’s regular screenings. Take a Worcester NightLife class. Go to Ralph’s Rock Diner for the Dirty Gerund Poetry Show on a Monday night. No matter who you are, I truly believe there is a community of people ready to make this place feel like home for you. Start today.
2020-02-13 08:17:53Z
https://www.telegram.com/entertainmentlife/20200213/lifestyle-how-to-make-new-friends-as-adult-in-worcester
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